Restorative Justice: How to Get Kids to Get Along - Episode 77

Falling for Learning Episode 77 focuses on the journey into education for Restorative Justice Teacher, James Riley. Check out his YouTube Channels - https://www.youtube.com/c/mrrileysworld and https://www.youtube.com/@ThisWeekinPaliFootball. 

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Transcript

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Hello. Welcome to the Falling for Learning Podcast. I am TD Flenaugh. This is episode 77. Today we have a special guest. His name is James Riley, and he is a career educator, and he serves as a restorative justice educator, and he's going to get into details about what that means, and about consequences and punishments and all that for schools and what you may think about doing at home if you are a homeschool parent, let's get into it. Hi. Thank you so much for joining the Falling for Learning Podcast. We have this podcast to help parents and caregivers with having the resources, strategies and tools needed to make sure that their children are on track for learning and to stay on track for success. Hi, how are you doing? Mr. Riley, I'm doing great. How are you good? So everyone, this is James Riley, you're, we're, we work together right now, and we're going to talk about, you know, his role in schools, and how that fits into like, consequences, punishments and all that. So how is your holidays, or your holidays going so far? Well, seeing that, we're a couple of hours into it, you know, you know, Yesterday was Friday. The break is today. So today was, you know, I've been up since 630 this morning, on the go, non stop, and I still have one more thing to do before the night is all done. So if I had to put it all in one word today, the first day of break, it has been very busy but very gratifying. Alright, very busy but very gratifying. Okay, so we like to talk about all kinds of things on this podcast that are related to education, helping kids to fall in love with learning, helping guiding parents in to strategies and tips on how to make that happen before we get into that, we also like to talk about, like, what made you fall in love with learning as a child? You know, that's a good question. Um, so falling in love with learning as a child, I really don't know what made me fall in love. I just did what was normal as any you know, childhood or child age person would do, just attend school, you know, try to get the a on the test. You know, I wasn't that successful all the time, but I did, you know, try my best. I listened to my teachers, follow the instructions. I was one of those dudes who was just, you know, kind of, you know, walking by the line and just doing what I was supposed to do, you know, because I know that mom in the family wanted me to do well, and so I gave it my all. And it really wasn't until my college days that I really developed a fondness for learning. And you know, so I have to say, it didn't necessarily begin in my childhood, but somewhere, you know, around young adult ish, I guess was when I kind of picked up and really begin to understand what learning could do for someone. So, yeah, I would have to say it didn't begin as a childhood, in my childhood, but as a young adult. So you're starting with, you're basically saying you started with just compliance, doing what you were told to do, following the rules, and then later on, it kind of caught on for you. So what were some kind of activities and things like that that you were involved in? Because one thing is, you weren't turned off from learning. I guess you were still involved, right? So what are some things that you were involved in as a kid that led to your career that you have now, or your career in education overall? Absolutely. So when I you know, just, just about, you know, a lot of young boys have dreams of being a professional athlete. So for me, it wasn't, you know, oh, I want to be a cop, or I want to be a fireman or police officer or lawyer, you know, I was like, hey, I want to go to the I want to go to the NBA, right? But I didn't have the skills, right? So, middle school, you know, I played basketball, but I wasn't like, the top dude, right? And then even in high school, you know, I went to high school out there in the valley. Shout out to El Camino Real in the valley. So I went there. And, you know, I love basketball as a kid, and so when I matriculated to high school, kind of fell in love with track and, you know, so I found myself in a lot of extracurricular activities where, you know, activities, or, you know, moving around was, was kind of. Necessary for me. So just, you know, just being involved in kind of learning about sports and being a sports person, and really trying to find my ways, like, Okay, well, I didn't make the varsity team. So what else could I do to kind of help, you know, facilitate what I'm going to do later on in life. So for me, you know, trying to develop some of those skills. It's like, okay, you're not always going to do what you want to do, but you need to pick up something. You need you need to be good at something. So one of my favorite activities as a child was photography, and so I remember being in sixth grade, fifth or sixth grade, using, I don't know, I'm dating myself right here, I'm gonna date myself. Okay, date yourself. So, yeah. So my grandmother, you know, she was from the south, South Carolina, and she would always go to, like, what they would call them, rummage sales, or we refer to them as yard sales, right? You know, the the kind of academic word for Roman sale, right? So we would go to yard sales and or she would, and then she found a camera for me. So it was an old camera. It was a 120 film kind of camera. So you remember 120 now, this is okay, see, you don't even remember that. So, like I said, I'm kind of dating myself, but eventually, you know, I kind of use that camera. And then my my grandfather, on my father's side, he kind of, no, actually, was my uncle. My uncle had a Canon camera, and I kind of picked it up and was using it when I was hanging out with him. And so eventually, my grandfather bought me my first 35 millimeter camera. It was a Canon AE one, which was a top of the line camera. And so I kind of developed the skill of photography as well. So I knew if I didn't become a basketball player, at least, I can do something in the trade centered around photography. So that's kind of where I was. And I kind of carried that love of photography throughout high school. You know, I didn't. I wasn't on the yearbook staff because most of the time I was participating in a lot of the sporting activities at the school, either fall would be basketball, spring would be track. So I didn't, I wasn't a part of a yearbook, but I did take several courses from the my teacher, Miss Weaver, Carolyn Weaver at and I still remember her today. She had a wonderful impact on me in terms of, you know, using photography and, you know, kind of understanding photography and taking it to another level. So shout out to miss Weaver. And so, yeah, so that's kind of what I learned. And then from there, I wanted to be a photo journalist. So, you know you talk about coming out of high school and figuring out what I wanted to do. Well, the most important thing that seniors do when they graduate high school is they go to college. Well, for me, you know, my mom, she didn't necessarily go to college. My dad, she did attend trade school, but my dad, he went straight into the Air Force. So, you know, for them, and then for a lot of you know, my my grandparents, I was the first kid to kind of go to college. So for me, was a big thing. And so I figured, okay, you know, I couldn't. I didn't go to like Michigan State or UCLA. I just went down the street. I went to El Camino College over in torts, because I was not ready. All right, I wasn't ready. Didn't didn't understand, didn't really have anyone to kind of tutor me along the process in terms of taking tests. And, you know, it was just okay, let's graduate high school and then figure out what's next. So for me, now, I don't know if we having some technical difficulties, but I can't hear you. No, I can read your lips, though I accidentally muted myself. I'm really, oh okay. There you go. Okay. There you go. Oh no, there you go. Thanks for letting me know. Yes, but you know, how did you know you weren't ready? Um, you know, I just, I mean, a lot of the kids, because I went to a, you know, PWI, predominantly white, you know, high school out in the valley, a lot of those kids, you know, they had parents who kind of knew that knew how to get on board their kids into college, right? So for me, it was, you know, I didn't have that coaching. Yeah, I had a village. But the village was not like, okay, let's what's next for you, James, you know, or they called me Jimmy, Jimmy. What's next for you? I didn't have a plan. So my goal was to go to El Camino College, go to community college, and kind of figure it out. But I did know that I wanted to have something to do in photojournalism, so started taking classes there. I ran track there. My first year, but then I got a job. Part that you brought up because you, you're saying you didn't have, like, really good skills to become, like a professional athlete, but you even community college, you were able to still run track, which was, I'm sure, helpful in keeping you involved with the college life? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, because you still have to learn discipline, there's a lot of things that you can learn, you know, by being on a sports team, you know, discipline, you know, being on time when you're asked to, you know, just developing a good work ethic, and so, you know, you kind of get those things in a different manner than saying, you know, going to, you know, 2000 miles away, or, you know, or just across town, if we're going to across town university, you know, because you got to figure out. You got to wake yourself up. You got, you know, you're responsible for yourself. Not to say that. I wasn't responsible, but I just didn't have anyone who, who kind of had me going down the right path, right? I didn't take an A C TD, didn't take an S, A, T had no clue what it was. And I, you know, I was so naive, I didn't even ask. It was like, What y'all taking a who? Oh, okay, all right, peace, do your thing, you know, I, I had no clue. Which is why? Yeah, which is why, you know, I figured the community college will be a great way for me to kind of, you know, have a good understanding, develop some skills, and then, you know, just kind of use that. And you know, that's what I did. So eventually I got the AA degree by attending, you know, El Camino College, matriculated over to Long Beach State, you know, again, I'm working, so I'm putting myself through school at this point. You know, mom is not paying for me. Mom has moved across country taking care of her, of her parents with Alzheimer's. So, you know, it was incumbent on upon me to, you know, figure it out. I couldn't call Hey mom. Can you Hey mom? Nah, mom. She, taking care of, you know, elderly parents of her so, you know, 3000 miles across the way. So I had to figure it out, and I did, but it took some time, but I eventually, you know, it was through trial and error. Okay, so you said it took you some time. So how long were you in the community college? So let's see. I graduated in 86 from high school, and I think I finally graduated from El Cole in 91 I want to say, because, like I said, I was putting myself through college, and so I was working. I got a job with the county, working at a local hospital. And so, you know, working, going to school, sometimes, being on academic probation, you know, it's like, okay, bro, you got to get this thing together, right? Okay, so we figured it out, and so we we we walked, we celebrated. Okay, what's next, right? So we did the thing in Long Beach. Got into Long Beach, they had a wonderful photojournalism program. And the only thing about it is you have to be a part of the campus life to really be a participant in photojournalism. Okay. Well, Mr. Kelly, the professor there, who was, you know, who was known, world renowned photographer, photojournalist, you know, I again, because I'm putting myself through school. I didn't have the time, you know, this is like a regular nine to five where I couldn't just, like, Alright, I'm not coming in today, you know. So, so again, I had to figure out what, what was next for me. And so, you, you talked about education. I figured, you know, I could take some black studies courses, kind of get in tune to who I am, and, you know, what kind of impact I can make in my community. And through that, I figured, okay, after graduating, maybe, because I had such wonderful teachers in the Black Studies Department, maybe I can be a strong African American male teacher and some of our, you know, in the school system. And so I kind of matriculated, you know, I shifted because I couldn't do funnel journalism the way I wanted to. And so I matriculated, and just thought about being a teacher. And so went back to school after I graduated at Long Beach in 98 class of 98 and, you know, started the path to become a teacher, which, again, you know, going back to your very first question, when did you become, you know, a learner. You know, for me, young adult, definitely. And then, you know, moved on to developing a passion for teaching kids, especially kids in our community. Okay, so that's a long story, but that's that's my story. All right, so we're going to take a quick break for our sponsor, and then we're going to get into what you're doing in education. Now, absolutely all over the United States, 75% of children. Children don't know how to write. Well, add that to the fact that so many people out there are trying to silence the voices of those who have been oppressed and trying to prevent them from telling their story. Who's going to tell your story if your child doesn't know how to write? Well, I have two books to address this issue, the rewrite method and the rewrite method workbook, pretend to make sure that parents know what to do, that educators know what to do to get their children to write better and just not write better, but love to write. Make sure that your next generation could tell their story and they won't be silenced. Go to falling for learning.com. Today to purchase your set. Okay, all right, so we're back. We were hearing about, you know, your journey to become an educator, and you now are taking us to the part where you are an educator. Tell us how long you've been teaching and what your current role is so I have been teaching since 1998 so what's that about? 24 years? 25 years, maybe. 26 almost. Okay. See, there you go. 26 I know it's somewhere over there. I lose track 26 years. So primarily working in the south LA area, start out as and maybe, maybe you can identify with this. Or maybe some of your listeners can, especially if they're teachers, they can identify with the emergency permits or emergency credential or, you know, so I did that series of tests you gotta, you gotta pass within five years. So, because I was putting myself through school by this time, I was newly married. I was married in 97 started working in 98 the summer of 98 at one of those schools where you had year round schools, right? You remember year round schools? So I started there, year round and, you know, just, just going through, trying to understand what you know a teacher looks like, you know, should be teaching and everything. So it was definitely different. But I liked it. I think I made an impact on the students who sat in my class again. Back then, I had about anywhere from 28 to 32 kids in the classroom. I primarily taught fourth my first year I taught fourth grade, okay, and the second year I taught fifth grade. And I think for the following four years, I think I talked, or you kind of, it kind of went back and forth, depending on, you know, the matrix. If you know what the matrix is, that's the time when, in this in the spring, teaching with one second, because I want to make sure people have context. Yes, okay, go ahead. During the time that he's referring to, there was like a teacher shortage, where there's often a teacher shortage, but always the teacher shortage was so bad when Mr. Riley began that basically, as long as you had a bachelor's degree, you could become a teacher. And that's what he means by emergency credentials. So they let him teach, as long as he did a couple of things, just a few things, to be eligible to be emergency credential. Basically, you were also saying that you're going to work towards getting your credential during that time. So so he was teaching without any experience as a teacher, just a desire, and there was absolutely yes. So that's where he was coming in. And then with elementaries, if you're not sure, clear about that, in elementary basically everyone has the same credential, right? So kindergarten through fifth grade teachers, you could get pushed, you know, matrix, or according to seniority, you could get pushed from one grade level to the next, anywhere from kindergarten to fifth grade. Of course, there's some variations that they're special day class teachers. But if you're a K through five regular teacher, you can be moved anywhere between kindergarten through fifth grade. And so everyone's kind of like, in a way, competing. They all have the same credentials. So just some background. Go ahead. Well said, well said, so. So imagine this. You're working, you know, 730 to three, and then I'm heading back out to Long Beach State. I'm heading back out because they have a teacher program. So with the emergency credential, they say, Hey, you know what? You can work. Long as you're working towards your credential, you got five years. You got five years to get your credentials. So back to Long Beach, you know, I think their program was maybe two and a half years, or just whenever you complete it, as long as you can complete it. Because sometimes life does happen, and, you know, things get in the way. But. Luckily for me, I had another friend, my wife's best friend, she, she, you know, basically we went out there at the same time. So we would roll out to Long Beach. Sometimes I drive, sometimes she would drive. We roll in the same classes. And we actually, you know, got our teaching credential together. So that was cool. So yeah, mostly upper grade. And then after the five years, I moved over to an independent Charter School, okay, and so, which was, like the cutting edge. So here in LA, there was a program where there is, there's a program called Academic, mass academic English Mastery program, or commonly known as amp. So a lot of, the lot of a few of the basically, there was a charter school centered around using the pedagogy that amp used, or was using, trying to teach in the different schools. Well, some of the administrators of this charter school kind of came out of that office at LA USD put a charter together. And so we begin, you know, I was one of the founding teachers of the culture and culture and language academy for success, or we called it short class, C, L, A, S, culture, language, culture and language academy for success. So work. Worked over there for a while, worked as the fourth grade teacher, because I love technology. They needed a technology person. Worked in technology for a number of years, and then afterwards is like, you know what? This is great. Maybe I need to go back to the district, and so went back to the district. Oh, no, I'm sorry. Let me back up. Me Back up. During that same time, I was also working on my master's degree in educational technology, because this class, this school, was developed basically on Apple's one to one device to student ratio. So each student had their own laptop. Now this is before you know. This is this is way ahead of this time. So each kid had their own laptop, their own laptop. Each teacher in the classroom had their own Promethean board. Each teacher had their own projector. Each teacher had their own, you know, a bundle of camera and digital tools that they can use in the classroom. Wow. So, so, yeah, so it was 2000 this was 2002 1003 okay, yes. So I so I left LA USD, yes, yes. Cutting Edge went over to class. Was a founding teacher. Worked there for a number of years, and then ultimately came back to the district. And one of the reasons I worked on my master's degree was because they were doing some cutting edge stuff as it relates to technology. So we know, for instance, you know, one of the big things back then was like being able to use Power School to record attendance. Right now, we do it like it's we use mices right before the before the paper pencil. So this is a little bit before that, yeah. So that was very, yeah, very so it was very interesting. And so going through all these different pathways and avenues, you know, with teaching students from fourth or fifth grade, you know, beginning my teaching career in LA USD, teaching at class, being a founding teacher, being a technology advocate, and then, you know, just, you know, matriculating back over to the district. You know, I found myself in different spaces, different areas. I mean, I've taught everything from kinder to eighth grade, because class went up to eighth grade eventually. So it did start out as a k5 and then eventually expanded to middle school. So I've, I've taught you know, everything from kinder to eighth, either self contained classroom or as a technology advocate, or what they called us at a class student advocate, which is basically a different name for just a teacher, right? Um, so we do some cutting edge stuff. So I've been a lot of places. I've done some long term sub assignments because, you know, I could, I could tell you, you know, 2009 what happened? There's a lot of cut out, a lot of layoffs and everything, yes, and so I was victim of the layoff because I was newly back to the district, and so I had to again, Mr. Riley, had to figure it out. But, but through all that, I still did not leave my passion for learning. And so I think that's kind of what your the focus of your podcast is. And then. Thinking about, like, how we could support parents. And one aspect of your current job is your what's your official title right now? So, yeah, so before, before I talk about the restorative justice teacher for the Now, going back to 2009 so a couple years after that, one of the teachers was unable to fulfill her, her her job duties at a school, so I had a long term sub assignment in this class. And then one of the coaches like, hey, maybe you should be you're pretty good, you're pretty patient with these little kids. And now mind you, these were and I never had experience with working with special education students who are preschool. So they were between the ages of three and five. They were on the autism spectrum. So for me, very first time, it was about seven kids, I had a couple of adults in the classroom. And the good thing about this class is they went home at 1130 right? So, or 1130 12, but they weren't there full day, right? So, you know, the coach came in. Hey, you should be good for this. Okay, great. So then I had to go and get a special education degree for early childhood special education, so for the for the previous 10 years, that's what I was doing, working in a preschool comprehensive classroom with students with autism between the ages of three and five. So even though I was working at our current school, I found myself disconnected a little bit, because a lot of the things that I did in my classroom, a lot of the things we would do in staff meetings and, you know, it just or professional developments, it just didn't apply to me. Because, you know, I'm three to five, you know, ages three to five on autism spectrum, preschool kids, right? So your current role now, I got you and a restorative justice teacher, absolutely and how, what kind of ideas or strategies can you talk to like? Well, first of all, tell us what it is yes to talk about how people could apply that, either with what they do as at home with their kids, or as they are just guiding their kids as well and absolutely so this year we had a vacancy at our school, and, you know, they closed my classroom down. So the Classroom program where I taught, it doesn't exist anymore at my school site. So for me, yeah. So for me, I had to figure out either apply to another, you know, school, go to another school or because, if this position is available, why don't I see if I can, you know, fulfill it. So interview with the principal. He was like, Hey, you got it. I want you. I'm like, Cool. I want to stay here as well. So now I'm currently serving as the restorative, the BSAP restorative justice teacher at my school site, and I'll go, go ahead and provide context for you. BSAP stands for the Black Student Achievement Plan, where, within, I think, our last contract renewal with the district, there was clause written in for teachers, or for schools or for the school district to supply BSAP funded personnel at each of our schools. So the BSAP team in my school, we have myself a restorative justice teacher. There's a PSW psychiatric social worker for students, we have a PSA who really focuses in on attendance. We have a parent rep, and then we have a school climate advocate, which kind of, they kind of do fun things with the students, you know, during your recess and lunch, and kind of makes it, you know, those kind of times a little bit more engaging, right? Give them opportunities for a little bit more activity together, closeness, and so that's kind of, you know, I'm part of that BSAP team. So being a BSAP RJ teacher, one of the things, and I'm, I'm green to this position, I am very new RJ, meaning restorative justice. Yes, restorative justice. Thank you. Restorative justice. So basically it is if you have someone who has caused harm to somebody, maybe an argument, or sometimes, you know, might be a physical altercation or something. And these occur at all levels, elementary, middle and high school. So you should have these BSAP programs throughout several schools. Not all schools have the BSAP program. There's a certain designation that schools have to fall under in order to get BSAP funding. But being a restorative justice teacher, we we try to do. Help the kids, help the students understand there's other ways of dealing with the situation besides just fighting, arguing, you know, calling each other names. And so one of the things that I do, which is part of the positive behavior intervention and support team, one of the things that I do is I hold community circles in my classroom now. A community circle is just when we a time where classes can come together and we can talk about different issues. So we talked this past week, we talked about our culture, holidays, things that we do with our families now, and those are good things, right? But the restorative justice piece comes in where. So it's kind of difficult for me just to talk to students if I don't know them, but by by building community, having conversations about some of the things that they like to engage in outside of school or in school. It makes it a little bit more easier for me to talk to students, if they you know, if they're referred to me, or if I observe something, or if a teacher says, yeah, when they get in trouble, it makes it much easier for me to kind of talk and de escalate the situation. And so I love the community circles, because that's kind of like the entry way, the gateway for me to understand who the children are who come into my community circle classroom, right? And then, so hold on. So you're saying when they get in trouble, they can come to you, but also you help build community. So what about like a dean, or like going to the principal's office when they get in trouble. So, yeah, absolutely, that's still in place. So not every thing that students do in the classroom, you know, they don't have to be automatically sent to the principal, right? So we're talking about those there's there's tears, there's levels to behaviors in our schools. So there's tier one, tier two, tier three. Tier three is the highest. Tier one is the lowest. So let's just see you tier one, tier two, tier three. I got you all of them are. So usually, if we're teetering around high tier one or tier two, right now, if we just to give context again, if it's all, you know, battle fist fight that's gonna go all the way. That's a tier three kind of situation. So, you know, principal might just hop into that right now, I might do some have a restorative practice where we can kind of talk about it afterwards. But from the get go, it's gonna go to the principal, if the principal can handle it, great. If he can't handle it. Or, you know, maybe there's a referral that I need to kind of talk and, you know, help the students work their way through it. Then that's where I come in. But we're talking about, you know, maybe students arguing. So case in point, I'll give you, I'll give you an example. This was a tier three behavior. However, it's probably the classic example from this semester, I was asked to see two students by a teacher. She's like, hey, these students are not kind of getting along. And so maybe later on that day, they weren't getting along so well that they were pinching and stabbing each other with a pencil. Fifth grade each other with a pencil. Oh, no, yes. Now, instead of using their words, saying, Hey, can you not stab me, or hey, can you not pinch me, they were continuously doing that and not even telling the teacher what was going on. So so one of the coordinators got wind of it, and, you know, they asked if I can handle it? And I said, Sure. Or maybe, maybe she was handling it. And then, you know, she's like, Hey, Mr. Riley, can you handle I was like, Sure. So I jumped in and we kind of talked about it, and kind of figured it out. Now, parents were still called, not by me, but because of, you know, the stabbing and the pinching there was, you know, there are some, you know, some things, some paperwork, some additional paperwork that I don't have to fill out. Okay, right? So you basically are helping kids to really talk through their emotions, negative, absolutely, and that's what happened. And resolve conflict in a way, yes, okay, so this is type of, wait, this is part of a substitute for, like, when students, instead of, like, suspending students, or how, absolutely into it, okay, absolutely, yes, yeah. It's, it's an alternative. Because, you know, years ago, we would just say, Okay, you're gone for two days, or you're going for three days. Well, I mean, you know, going back to that situation, you know now, those two students, just about every time I see them, they're almost together, they're friends, they're happy, they're smiling. And I think it had a lot to do with, you know, the restorative practice that we kind of put in place, having the girls talk to each other about what they experienced, and just. Instead of just, you know, coping with it and dealing with it. Hey, why don't you express to the other person How are you feeling and how it makes them feel? And let's talk about this thing, instead of continuously, you know, harming each other, we're trying to restore so that we can, you know, get along and be in a safe place. Because schools should be the safest place that students can come to. So that's kind of what I do. You know, if it's a tier three where, you know, folks are kicking, screaming, punching, you know, it might be all the way it it might escalate to the principal. But if it's something where I can intervene and I can talk and, you know, have a situation where we can share, you know, boys, girls can share, then that's fine as well. So that's kind of part of what I do, being a BSAP restorative justice teacher at my school site. Okay? And so as you're thinking about your role, like, what, how did, how can parents, like, follow up and use these types of practices at home with their kids, because obviously at home, they're not suspending their kids, you know. So what are some elements from what you do that can be used at home to help kids in their development, absolutely with each other. So one of the things that I do within my community building circles is, I have students breathe and not just and so the breathing and I'm I always tell them, you know, as we're going through my community circles, I always tell them, if you feel anxious or you feel bothered or, you know, frustrated or angry, Take some time to breathe. You know, try to de escalate the situation yourself. Instead of just, you know, just going all in, make sure you can calm yourself down, right? And then, if you can calm yourself down, then maybe some of the negative behaviors that might come up, you know, let's say siblings are hitting each other, right? You know. And even parents can practice this, you know, they can practice this with their kids, you know, let's, let's take some time to breathe. Calm down, you know. You know, twins might be, you know, busy hitting and kicking each other, and they might be trying to tell their mom or dad or grandma what's going on? Like, hold on. We need to just breathe, you know, we need to calm down, and we need to get all sides of the story, you know. Okay, Johnny, tell me what happened? Is this? What happened? Billy, okay, now, you know what? What could have been done to not be in this situation? You know, asking those kind of restoring questions. Or instead of hey, you better you know how, you know how black parents can be. Or, you know, I mean, you know how parents can be, but you know how black parents can be, Well, you better sense yourself. You know, we'll, we'll just, we'll get right into it. But no, that's an opportunity for parents as well to kind of practice some patience, kind of breathe, you know, figure it out. And even if you have to separate, you know, kids who are acting crazy off the wall, separate them, you know, instruct them to kind of calm down, do some breathing. There's tons of breathing methods to kind of calm you down, de stress, de escalate. And then once the de escalation has happened, maybe we can have a restorative conversation to kind of help build each other up. Instead of just saying, Boy, you better go to that corner before I, you know, before I get my there's some ways to do it and deal with it a more productive way. And then absolutely, it sounds like some practice for healing, or like trying to mend the relationship afterward. Yes, yes, because you want to, you want to make sure that some kind of mending is taking place. Now, you know, I've had a situation again where, you know, two girls were in the PS the school based, PSA, she was in there were talking to two girls, and they were, you know, going back and forth. And, you know, off the bat, the girls, like, I don't want to be her friend. Sorry, hold on, what is a PSA? Ah, a PSA is just pupil service. I'm not too sure what the A is. I want to say attended. So basically, they take care. They help take care and monitor attendance at schools. Okay, so we were there because, you know, I'm talking to two girls. I want to make sure I have somebody else in the room with me. And actually, she, I think she, you know, brought the two girls into me so we could kind of deal with the situation together. So at the beginning of the conversation, one girl was like, huh, I don't want to be your friend. But by de escalating, talking about what happened, the needle had moved near the end of our conversation to say, you know, she said, I don't I. Don't mind being her friend. Okay, you know, so you kind of take what you can get. And so going from I don't want to be your friend to I don't mind, I think that's a win situation, yeah, for sure. Because So again, just talking, yes, they do absolutely. And like you said, if they get suspended, that doesn't mean that when we come back to school, that we're not still going to have more conflicts because we just got in trouble. But that didn't solve what happened between it did absolutely. I mean this, the problem is still there, and when was the time that they had an opportunity to talk to one another if they're suspended? Yeah, so suspension shouldn't be the first thing that we jump to we're trying to repair, because ultimately, they're going to have to see each other, especially if they're in the same classroom, you know, they're going to have to get along and figure it out. And so part of my job is to help them come to an understanding where something happened. You know, let's acknowledge what happened. How does each of the people parties feel about it, and what can we do? What can we put in place to make sure that it doesn't happen again? We're going to end here. We really appreciate you coming and talking to us about all the things you know, like your journey through education and obviously, parents and caregivers can take some tips from that. Sometimes kids aren't ready to go to community college right away, not community college, but to the four year university. That doesn't mean that they're not going to get to getting that four year degree later on and having a really wonderful career, but also like things that can be done ahead of time to help them think about sat, prompt them for certain things, and then just how the career unfolds in different ways. Right? You want to be a athlete, you have to figure out, like, Okay, I don't have the skills. What can I do that's close to it, and then ending up going into teaching, because, you know, you had an alternative path to from journalism through your working and family man you know, got married and all of that. So it was great to hear from you and to share your information. Can you tell us about what you have going on because you have like a show as well, right? And where can people watch your show and learn more about you and the services you offer? Absolutely well. First of all, first of all, just want to say thank you for allowing me to come on and rant and kind of share my story, my unconventional story. I'm not too sure if I met the mark in terms of what you wanted, but hopefully you're listening. Your listeners and viewers will find some value in what we discussed today. Kind of listen, listening to me and sharing my story. So I am a a, you know, I'm a baby YouTuber, I guess. So I, you know, people can find baby YouTube but no, I have, I have a couple of channels you want go for it, yeah, yeah, yeah. Only reason I say, you know, because, again, family time, I have to fit in where I can get in. And so, you know, I have a couple of different ways that I'm, I'm on YouTube. And so one of the ways I that I my, my release, my, my give back to the community is I am a football High School commentator for my sons. All three of my sons, they attended a charter school out here, and they play football. And so every Friday night, well, Football season is over for high school. You can find me at This Week in Pali football on YouTube, and you can go check me out and have interviews with some of my son's former colleagues and current players on the football team. Wait, what's your name? Of your podcast? I mean, of your show, what's the name? Yes, YouTube channel this absolutely. This Week in pally football is one this week in pally. This week in pally, football is one, but my main channel, if you type in on YouTube, Mr. Riley's world, you will see a plethora of stuff. You'll see a plethora of things. You'll see me reading stories. You'll see me talking about my families. You'll see me unboxing some stuff, especially during COVID, which is when I had a lot of time to upload a lot of videos. And so, you know, you know, I love technology, I love computing, and so you'll see videos about some of those things as well. So yeah, if you're looking you can look over to Mr. Riley's world on YouTube. And, yeah, we'll just leave with that one, because I have, I have tons of social media platforms, but we'll just leave you with those two this week in pally football and Mr. Riley's world. All right, thanks again for joining us, and thank. You for joining the Falling for Learning Podcast, again, please do something today that your future adult kids will thank you for. !ll right, thanks for joining us. Thanks again for supporting the Falling for Learning Podcast, new episodes go live every Saturday at 5pm you can watch us on youtube.com/@fallingforlearning, or listen on all major podcast platforms such as Apple, Google, Audible, Spotify and much more for more resources, visit falling in love with learning.com We really appreciate you. Have a wonderful week!