Fun Family Activities to Build Bonds - Episode 75

TD Flenaugh discusses the importance of engaging in screen-free family activities during holidays to build bonds and teach children about culture. She shares personal experiences, such as playing spades and dominoes, cracking nuts, and cooking together. Flenaugh emphasizes the value of cleaning together while sharing music, teaching kids to appreciate family traditions, and involving them in shopping and gift-giving. She also suggests creating crafts and having indoor or outdoor camping experiences to foster family time and appreciation.

Flenaugh promotes her books, "The R.E.W.R.I.T.E. Method" and "The R.E.W.R.I.T.E. Method Workbook," to help children improve their writing skills - https://fallingforlearning.com/home-9066.

Transcript

TD Flenaugh: 0:01

Hello. Okay, so this is like take two, so welcome to the falling for learning podcast. Today is episode 75 so today we're going to talk about fun activities we could build into our holidays as we are in right now, and to make sure that we're building family bonds and teaching kids about the culture and all of that good stuff. So stay tuned. Here we go. Hi. Thank you so much for joining the following for learning podcast. We have this podcast to help parents and caregivers with having the resources, strategies and tools needed to make sure that their children are on track for learning and to stay on track for success. Okay, here we are, our episode 75 I'm very excited. Just let me say it has been a fun holiday. I get a link off, so I'm always feeling very blessed during this time, but also have spent some good times with family, you know. So I traveled a little bit, not really, but into Lancaster, because I live in LA so and still getting more comfortable with my grades. They are growing in because I'm not dying them anymore, because I guess I'm a really graying person. Anyway, let's move on so fun family activities that we can do with the kids. So this is how you build in that those bonds and the family time. And I'm really making sure I highlight this because we are in a new era, right? Because our kids may be just in front of a screen, depending on you know what things are already going on with our family members. They may be okay with having their kids, or their very young babies and toddlers just on a screen, so that they're not being bothered with them, and not knowing, like, how many opportunities we're missing to build our family bonds and all of that together. So this holiday, so for Thanksgiving, one of the things that we did is we played spades. So that's something maybe your family has done for a long time, and we have done that depending on what holiday or event was, but we haven't done in a while. So it was just me, my husband, my daughter and my mother. We were playing spades and really having a good time. And of course, I beat everyone handily, because that's what I do. I win, right? I win no. So, you know, teaching each other the you know, going over the rules, helping it. You know, kids navigate. Think about that strategy, all of that. So I'm going to be talking about activities that are away from the screen. So because it's just so easy to grab the screen, it's so easy to occupy kids with that, but kids are literally getting addicted to the screens, and this is a perfect time, a perfect excuse to get your kid away from the screen and into activities with you and the family. Okay? And so playing a card game such as spades is one of them. Now, I don't know if you could hear my dog barking or whatever, but she's out there barking. So that's what she's doing. I hope you are, you know, have a dog that barks for you sometimes, you know, I don't know, anyway, we're moving on. You probably can't even hear it, because my sure microphone is probably, you know, canceling all that out and all of this I'm talking about doesn't even, there's no reason for it. But here we go, anyways. So spades. Also that brings to mind, for me how you could teach kids Domino's, which is also something very fun. You could sit around again, helping them to learn the strategy, learn the rules and just it's a fun activity. It distracts people, again, from being on their phones, and helps kids to just get involved with the family. Okay? Another thing that I was thinking about, like with Domino's is, like, you know, you're adding, you're subtracting, right? You are giving, you know, someone's keeping points. And the same thing with spades. So all that is so, you know, like, it's just built in learning and it's fun. And so if we could think about ways to do that. Now, obviously I'm giving you some ideas, so you can copy and paste, like just use these exact ideas, but also it may spark an idea of something else that you used to do in your family, that you can bring out, rejuvenate, revive in your family. So that's funny. So also something, I was at a friend's house and they had like, um, nuts in a shell, right? Like, walnuts, different things like that. And they had like, The Nutcracker, which also is, like, brings up holiday season. So like, people's families during the holidays would have. Nuts with shells and crack the nuts, sit around, talk to each other and everything. And do you know a lot of kids, you'll be surprised they don't know where things come from. Sometimes, if, especially if you're in a household where you have a lot of processed foods, you'll be surprised that some kids don't know that fries come from potatoes, right? Like, even though, like, maybe we just think that's common knowledge. But if kids have not seen you peeling those cutting up those potatoes and all that kind of stuff, and you're just getting it, like, out of a bag, like frozen fries, or getting it out of McDonald's or something like that, they may not know that they come from potatoes. And sometimes, when we don't spend time with our kids, like, get them off of the screens, and really spending time with us cooking, with us sitting around, cracking nuts, right? Because we have a bag of nuts that we get that are un that are shelled, right? No shells on it. And so be very easy for young kids in the family not to know, like, Okay, this is what a walnut looks like in its shell. This is what an almond looks like in its shell. And you know, just new information, maybe they just didn't have. And you just maybe assume that they knew, but they don't know, because they always come processed in a bag, shelled some salt on it, all this good stuff, right? Instead of knowing, like, Okay, here's a nutcracker you could actually cut, you know, or break open this this nut and share it with the family, or eat it together, or whatever. And it's kind of like a pastime. You could just talk about stuff, you know, reminisce, tell them about things you used to do when you were a kid, how much this family member looks like or acts like another family member, tell funny stories. So all those things come out in the family when you're not on a screen, but when you're just with the screens or someone, the kids are over there, listening to their own music, doing their own thing, then it is less family time, like we're around each other. But are you the kids learning from you, learning your traditions, your values? Are they picking up traditions and values from people online that they're learning from and they see all the time? Very important. So these are some days that we're kind of like thinking about, what are our kids know, or what should they know? Or what what do we do? We used to do that we're not doing now. We could bring back and have some fan fun family time. So this is so important for you to think about, you know, talking about your brothers and your sisters, your cousins, whoever it is that you spent time growing up with, and those family traditions that you can revive, and at the same time, have fun with your kids and teach them a lot, right? Because they don't know about some of the things that you know about, and when you start talking about it, new things will come to light, and you will have taught them some history, maybe told them about way, the way technology has changed, or traditions. So you're teaching them a lot, and they're really going to have fun doing it and getting to know each other better, and not just be around them, because we're around them, but we're on our phone or whatever, but really get to know each other, very important, which takes me on to cleaning together. So that's a big thing about the holidays. When people come over your house, if you're the person who's hosting. I know I drive myself crazy because, again, I'm a recovering perfectionist, right? Drive myself crazy trying to make sure the house is super clean and everything's organized, and I'm not embarrassed, so just so much. But that is something that we could do together. So something that a lot of people talk about is when their parents have them clean up. When they were a kid, that they play this music and they start cleaning but I was talking to my friends the other day and thinking about how some of that is lost, because everyone has their own screen, right? Everyone has their own screen. So your kid can have their air pods in listening to their music. You know, the little kid could have this little iPad listening to their own music or whatever. You know, you know you as a parent, could have your own air pod or whatever, or even if you are kind of blasting music, your kid could just drown out that music. But if you make cleanup time and non screen time, and you're cleaning up together, and everyone's listening to the your music, you could kind of introduce them some of that old stuff, like some of the songs that I've been listening to lately, is bad boy by bad boy slash having a party by Luther Vandross, of course, Luther is before my time, but, you know, I learned that listen to my mom's music, right? So I really cherish Luther, because that's what I grew up listening to, like your kids and you hear it, some of the new rappers are like, I don't listen to this old rapper. I don't listen to them because of maybe that experience where we are very much listening to whatever we want to listen to. Our algorithm steers us to a particular type. Music or whatever. But are we? Are we sharing our culture with our kids in a way that they're listening to our music, learning to appreciate our music, because you're not giving them their own screen or their own headphones at that time, but they're able to clean up with you and listening to that music together, right? And not just being driven by their own algorithm, their own interest, and again, like an echo chamber, right? Because our algorithms do become an echo chamber. We listen to what we want to hear. We hear the messages that we already agree with, and things that are kind of different or outside of our comfort zone are less and less familiar, because we are all driven by the algorithms of Facebook and Instagram and YouTube and Spotify or whatever. So it's very, very important that we're thinking about how to introduce our kids two aspects of our culture, and culture, I'm saying specific to your household. Like at this household, we listen to Luther Vandross when we listen, you know, when we clean up or whatever, whatever that tradition is that you are spreading to your child, right? What is that that you're sharing with them? So think about those opportunities, and of course, give them time to listen to their own echo chamber, their own algorithm. But then sometimes you're have sacred time. So we're just having fun together, listening to music together, having a little dance party together, as we're cleaning up and listening, you know, so and again, you can, like, listen to some of their songs, do some of their Tiktok dances, whatever, learn it, but also give them the opportunity to listen to what you're listening to. So sometimes you guys are listening together. Now, of course, back in the day, I did not get to, like, really input myself into the playlist. And actually, just to be honest, it didn't even come into my mind, because that's just not how things were done. And I didn't have my own source of music back then, right? You know, we had one radio. We are listening to that radio, or if we're cleaning up, you know, this is what the house music is going to be, the stereos, or throughout the house, whatever. So, again, new things. But how can you change it up? Your change up could be like, Okay, this time we're going to listen to your music while we're playing, right? And even if your kids listen to some raunchy music, and you're not 100% with that, you could find the clean version of those songs. And again, you could listen to raunchy music, because just keeping it 100 I do listen to some music that is really inappropriate for children, but I also know how to find some kid bops that are similar, or just do a clean version, you know, where they bleep out, or songs or whatever. So that's very hard to do, but again, make it a part of the family tradition where you guys are sharing your music together. Okay, so very important. So cleaning up together. And of course, the holiday is all about the food, especially Thanksgiving. So what can we do? We could, of course, have the kids cook together with us. And when we think about Thanksgiving, we think about that big meal, but it could also be like a brunch like, you know, my cousin has come. She's done like, two different brunches now, you know, and invited us so she get out for these holidays. We've also eaten several meals together, had lunch together. So there are a lot of things that you can do beyond just cooking that Thanksgiving dinner. But of course, it could be, you know, this one of the things I taught my daughter like to cook mac and cheese, how to make, uh, sweet potato pies, things like that. Now, I just want to be clear. I'm not a cook, like the cook my husband's like the one that is the chef. He's the one that be cooking it up, right? But I'll be doing my sweet stuff, you know, because I'm very sweet. I'm very sweet. No, not really. I'm just straightforward person. I mean, I guess some people call me sweet. I get I don't know. Anyway, that's not the important thing. The important thing is that you're going to be spending the time together cooking. So if it's not, if you're not ready to let them in the Thanksgiving kitchen, let them in on that brunch kitchen. Let them in on the breakfast kitchen. Okay, give them something to do. Follow a recipe. Again, that is a way, again, having fun and making it a safe for them. Okay, let me just tell you make it safe, because I definitely have been in a situation where I was not that safe when I was doing something. I didn't know how to even butter bread really good. And you know, when you have, like, that hard bread, and you roll up the bread when you're, you know, make it safe. Don't make them feel bad. Just be like, okay. You're new at this. You're good. I started off doing that too, and you're learning. And let them know. It's fun. Whatever it is, have fun. I just want to emphasize that, of course, we can get real serious with the cleaning, but have fun. And then just say, Okay, let's pause for a second. Let me tell you this area that really needs to get clean, and this is how you get it the cleanest, or this is a part you need to pay attention to. Okay, let's get back to the fun, right? So, so mix it up. Don't make it all hard work. Like, this is rough, tough time, hard time. This is fun time. And then say, okay, but we do need to make sure we get it cleaned up. And then you could just make a little joke, because yes, and when I see people have, like, dirt in the corners, I'm clowning them, you know, or whatever. Just to say, like, let's pay attention to detail. So just try to make it fun and make it a safe space when they're making mistakes, because they are going to make mistakes. They haven't been helping you with this before. So help them, because eventually you want it to be with their cooking and you're able to sit back and relax as you're gonna get old parents. I mean, you know, just feeling my age aging process. Sorry. Anyway, all right, so moving on. So, of course, another tradition of the holidays. We're in America, so it's all about the shopping. We are consumers, right? Or if you're on the other side, where you have a business and you have your Black Friday deal out, help them, you know, help the kids with helping you. And I did have my little Black Friday sales, like rolling around on YouTube or whatever, but, um, I haven't posted that much on social media, but I did have, I haven't taken a break, right? But the podcast don't take no breaks. We every week, so just know that. But the social media, pretty much it was a break on the social media. Okay, that's just what it is. Okay. So let me just pause for the break, because it is time. Yes, and this is, you know, always selling my book, always, always. Here we go all over the United States, 75% of children don't know how to write. Well, add that to the fact that so many people out there are trying to silence the voices of those who have been oppressed and trying to prevent them from telling their story. Who's going to tell your story, if your child doesn't know how to write. Well, I have two books to address this issue, the rewrite method and the rewrite method workbook. We tend to make sure that parents know what to do, that educators know what to do to get their children to write better and just not write better, but love to write. Make sure that your next generation could tell their story, and they won't be silenced. Go to falling for learning.com today to purchase your set. I'm back. Okay. Anyway, so that you know, get that rewrite method, the rewrite method workbook. Okay, so back to how could we have fun with our children? Okay, so Black Friday with the sales, either you or help the kids are helping you with making the sales right, or you're out there shopping and being consumer, because we're both. We should be both. Some of us are just consumers, but hopefully that's something that you're working on. Help you to have some of your own income streams coming in, because, you know, I'm all about that multiple income streams, streams of income anyway, so again, part of the fun and learning like helping them look online for sales, helping them look in the newspaper or The Sales papers that come through in the mail actually going to a mall or, like the small business Saturdays, right? So those are really important to like that again, helps you with the reading, helps you with the writing, helps you with the math, right? We're going to save money if we go shopping today or or whatever. So helping the kids find things that they're interested in. And this is again, showing helping your kid with showing gratitude, right? This is a time you tell people how grateful you are for them, thankful you are for them, and you give them things. And we're shopping. We heard grandma say we heard Auntie say she needs and you're thinking about that person and trying to contribute to them, even if you're going to put in a little bit of money or, you know, just find out where the best price to get this thing is. That's what you do for someone that you love. So you show them that you're going to be giving gifts, but also help them with the gift giving. Right? Let's what can we get for this person? Somebody look up where we could get the best deal on a sweater for grandma, for auntie, or whoever it is. So think about that. Because, again, that includes the reading, the writing, all of that, and then negotiating, talking together is very important. So those. Are some things even calling around to the store, because sometimes they're like, it's not at this store. So have them cause, ma'am, do you have it at this store? Do you have one of these? And all of that is like, you know, so resourceful, teaching them how to, like, advocate for themselves, ask questions. Find the best deals. You know, see how much money off this is all of those amazing things are something that you can do for your kids, and it's so important, go ahead and make sure you incorporate them into the shopping process. Okay? So we are talking about cooking with your kids, cleaning with your kids, sharing your music, all of that fun stuff, right? Also, you may be thinking about get, you know, actually creating something for a kid so or another kid, or grandma or whoever, because sometimes we're just making something. Maybe you're helping them, you know, to crochet or to knit, because that's maybe part of your culture that you have learned how to do. Maybe you're helping them sew. It could be just paper and pencil crafts that you're doing with your kids and helping them have fun crafting a message to someone that they love, that they appreciate, and they want to make sure they give them a gift, right? So it could be a gift of words. Is something that they are artistically making for them. So think about doing that with the kids, because that again, helps you to get away from the screen and get into sharing time with each other and enjoying one another that is so important. A lot of people don't understand that, that that we're missing those opportunities, the more we kind of relegate our children to screens and, you know, surfing the internet and YouTube and all of that that we are forgetting these opportunities of helping them to learn how to craft things and make things for people, write things out for people, and really, you know, our holiday time is about family time, taking time to pause, reflect on the year, to really think about who they appreciate, who got them through when it was hard, who got them through with the fun times, right? And really giving people their flowers, because I've had a year this year where we've had some sudden deaths, some deaths of older family members, you know, just people that we're not going to have, that we have this holiday without them the first time. And it really makes you think about the way things were in the past, and you don't want to miss your opportunities. Make sure you use this family time to actually get to know each other. Spend time together, teach your children things, pass on your traditions. Pass on those food traditions, those music traditions, remember, I was even saying those dancing traditions. If you're gonna go ahead and do like a little dance with your kids, or whatever, like, like, make it happen for each other. Okay? And so, you know, giving people their flowers, right? Really letting them know how much you appreciate them, and letting them know through crafting or writing out something to them, giving them a tribute, helping them with you and your kids, negotiating and talking about what you're going to write to this person. What are those things that they did for you? What are that specific, those specific acts or moments together that you're going to recall and you're going to write a tribute to them? Like, how are you going to do that? Like, that is something that is so important to show them how to give thanks to those people who have been a part of their growing up and and and raising them and making sure that they have a happy, productive life again, and we're teaching them right to show appreciation. And it's the reading and the writing, listening and speaking, all of that together, having fun with your kids. It's so important you can't get this time back right? And whatever this holiday is, if it's on the wonderful side, it's in the mid side, it's on like, kind of like a sad holiday time for you all, this holiday is not going to come back and you're going to look back and be able to relish in those moments that you had, no matter what, right so you could do some camping together. So we're gonna move on to, like, you know, those extended times. So like, are we gonna camp out, put, like, a little camp out on the living room floor or something? I recently just want to tell you had a time with a family member, an extended family member. You know, we were doing a celebration of life, and I decided, you know, to be cheap and not to stay in a hotel room. I stayed with a family member. And it was just so many of us, dozens of us in the house. But it was just some of the nicest time. You know, everybody just was together. Spending time together, laughing at each other, laughing together, eating together. I mean, it was just some of the best time, even though it was like a sad occasion, you know, it was also, you know, a time where people were gathering together who had maybe not gathered together before, maybe won't even gather together again. We don't know what the future holds, but, you know, think about how you could put that camping inside or glamping. It could be inside camping. It'd be outside camping, you know. So this could be something that you do later on in the year or during the summer. But think about if there's some camping experiences that you could have, and it could just be on the on the floor, but you could also, you know, put a, you know, the flashlight. You could have some special snacks out. You could tell some stories. There's different things you could do to bring it up a notch, to make it more fun and exciting. And then if you're going to do it outdoors, of course, it's a lot of learning that goes into that as well. But so just think about, you know, how you could create moments. It doesn't require a lot of money or time or or anything, just taking the time just to be there for each other and just put in those special little moments, right? Some people making s'mores or something, you could do it with, you know, if you have a fireplace or whatever, you could do it that way. You could do it outside, just different ways. Just think about what you are thinking like, what did we used to do when you were kids, and how you can recreate some of that. How could you put your own modern spin to it and share it with your kids? Right? And I just left my cousin, she at her and another group of family members had rented out, like a mansion, and they had, like a holiday in this, like Airbnb, like mansion, six or seven bedrooms or whatever. And it was just a really fun time. And I just had a, you know, brunch there, and it was very nice. And they just went all out, all kinds of foods, shrimp and grits, and, oh, there was pancakes, there was French toast, there were potatoes. It was so good. So just think about what you could do to bring you, know, love and light to your family and really teach your child what it means to to spend time together and to give them a balance where they could maybe do their own thing with their own devices. But there's sometimes that where it's just us. We don't need a device. We're going to talk together. We're going to listen to music together. We're going to dance together. We don't need to be on our separate devices. We're all going to listen to the same music. We're all going to take this video together, or picture together, or play this game together. And you know, just think about it. What are you going to bring forth that you haven't done in the past? It's a little bit of old school. I remember we were doing Twister back in that like there's just so many things you could bring back. And you are teaching your child and making sure that you build those bonds. Okay. Well, I hope you have a wonderful rest of your holiday, the Thanksgiving, and you really enjoy yourself, and you're doing something today that your future children will thank you for I appreciate you. Have a great rest of your weekend, and we going to be out of here. Thanks. Again for supporting the falling for learning podcast. New Episodes go live every Saturday at 5pm you can watch us on youtube.com at falling for learning or listen on all major podcast platforms such as Apple, Google, Audible, Spotify and much more for more resources, visit falling in love with learning.com we really appreciate you. Have a wonderful week. You.