Volunteering to Cultivate Empathy in Teens for Parents - Season 2, Episode 2

In this insightful episode of the Falling for Learning Podcast, T.D. Flenaugh explores the critical skill of empathy and its significant impact on your child's future success. Join us as we delve into practical ways to build empathy in children, particularly those teens and tweens who might seem self-centered and struggle with social interaction. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button to stay tuned for more valuable parenting tips!

Watch our episode about students who volunteered for a youth advocacy group in Episode 26 - Youth Participatory Action Research: The Impact of the Social Justice Learning Institute  

Key Points:

1. Peer Support Programs:  
Encourage your child to volunteer in peer support programs at school. Interacting with classmates who have special needs or disabilities can help them develop a deeper understanding and empathy for others' experiences.

2. Volunteering at Food Banks:  
Engage your child in activities at local food banks. This hands-on experience will expose them to the realities of food insecurity and cultivate gratitude and a willingness to help others in need.

3. Animal Rescue Centers:  
If your child loves animals, volunteering at animal rescue centers can be a meaningful way to develop empathy. Caring for abandoned and abused animals teaches compassion and responsibility.

4. Nursing Homes:  
Spending time with residents of nursing homes can be incredibly rewarding. Your child can play games, perform, or simply listen to the life stories of older adults, gaining wisdom and understanding in the process.

5. Environmental Cleanup:  
Participate in local environmental cleanup events. This not only helps the community but also teaches your child the importance of taking care of our planet and thinking beyond their immediate surroundings.

6. Mentoring Younger Children:  
Encourage your teen to become a mentor. Whether through formal programs like Big Brothers Big Sisters or informal school mentorship, guiding younger children fosters leadership and empathy.

7. Youth Advocacy Groups:  
Getting involved in youth advocacy groups empowers your child to address community issues head-on. They will learn to organize, campaign, and create positive change, which are invaluable skills for future leaders.

Conclusion:
Empathy is a crucial trait for personal and professional success. By engaging in these volunteer activities, your child can develop strong empathy muscles, preparing them to be compassionate leaders and responsible citizens. 

Call to Action:
If you found value in this episode, please subscribe and like our channel. Let us know what volunteer activities your child is involved in—we'd love to hear from you!

Subscribe & Follow:
New episodes of Falling for Learning Podcast go live every Saturday at 5 PM. Watch on https://youtube.com/@fallingforlearning or listen on major podcast platforms like Apple, Audible, Spotify, and more.

Building empathy in children
Emotional intelligence
Volunteer activities for kids
Developing leadership skills in teens
How to teach empathy to children
Volunteering benefits for kids
Empathy and success in children
Parent ti

Transcript

TD Flenaugh: 0:00

What if I told you that your child is missing empathy, and that skill can make or break their career? Today, we're going to talk about how you can build your child's empathy skills those teens out there that seem to be very self centered and are having a lot of issues with, you know, getting along with people or thinking about others. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to make sure that you have some volunteer activities for your child so that they could build up those empathy skills, the muscles, the habits, the mindset of being empathetic toward others, is something that's going to make a difference and then becoming a leader, then being successful, and we're going to get into it today. Thank you for joining us for another episode of the following for learning podcast. Please hit the subscribe button. We're here for you, and you want to stick with this channel.

Unknown: 1:12

If you have teens and tweens, well, you're a caregiver, right? Might be a parent, might be a caregiver, and you want to know what to do to keep them on track for learning and to stay on track for success, hit that subscribe button.

TD Flenaugh: 1:30

We're so glad that you joined us, because we're going to talk about the seven ways that we could include volunteer time in your child's life so that they are successful in business, successful in career, successful as far as building relationships with others. So we're going to start with number seven. Is like the lowest hanging fruit. Is they could do peer support. They could volunteer for peer support. Now, certain campuses have programs where children are able to have lunch with, hang out with, you know, after school, kids that are, you know, have special needs. They are in a segregated type of classroom, they're in a special needs classroom or something like that, or people who have disabilities, they might be in a wheelchair or otherwise. And these peers and poor groups are very easy, because the kids already go to school with them. They help them to put themselves in that person's shoes, hanging out with them, learning how to communicate with them. Think about them from their point of view, getting around campus, relating to others, maybe some issues that are the same, you know, those kids have, you know, romantic interests, just like kids that you know aren't in a special needs program or something like that. And just being able to interact with these kids in a productive way is going to go a long way for them to understand that, you know, people don't choose, you know, certain disabilities that they have. They don't have control over it, but they still want to relate in the world as adults, as teenagers, and to be taken seriously, to be valued. And that is a big thing that kids need to understand. When we're thinking about empathy. So very easy. You don't have to take them anywhere. They're already at school. And, of course, if you're in homeschooling, then you have homeschool collectives, and then you have a range of kids that you could meet with. And one of those groups of people could include people with special needs or who have a disability, and hanging out with them, volunteering to, you know, be a friend with to those kids that may find problems integrating into the school with others because they have, you know, a visible difference that makes people not want to associate with them or to be friends with them. So this would be a go a long way for your child. The number six way to get your child to strengthen those empathy muscles is volunteering at a food bank. Now this can be a one time activity, just like the peer support group, maybe you do it once, maybe you do it on a regular basis, but, you know, gathering up food from your house, a lot of us over shop, we have extra food. We have, you know, extra money that we can buy food with and give to people. School as a child, we our family, was definitely recipient of food banks at different times in our lives, and it went a long way to help us have some food stability. And this helps open up the eyes of your child about what other people do not have. They may not have that experience, but when they see that other people having that experience, and a lot of other people having that experience, it helps them to be more grateful for what they have, what's being provided for them, and helps them want to reach out to others and think about how they could help them and and really be more grateful about what's going on in their lives, and then in turn, willing to help others and understanding why other people's people may need support. So there it is. So next, there is a number five Animal Rescue centers, so animals, of course, get abandoned. Sometimes they get abused. They may be in a shelter where they are not getting, you know, petted, and they're not getting nurtured in that way. And and a child could come in, a teen could come in, a preteen could come in and help. Now, I do want to say I have a fear of animals from some negative experiences that I've had with animals over the years, but obviously that was not something that was nurtured in my life, and you can be able to nurture positive relationships with animals, with your child, and they can learn how to, you know, be there for someone and even find a companion. And when we're thinking about this type of job, this kind, you know, this kind of service that you're giving up yourself and volunteering you the child may find that they like working with animals, and may want to pursue a type of career in animals, at filing for learning. We are really about you finding a way to find your child's purpose, to get them on track for learning, to help them to stay on track for success, and one of the biggest ways is making sure that they find their purpose, so volunteering can help lead your child to their purpose, and finding a career that they love and a passion that they could pursue and really find success in in addition to that right, they are strengthening those empathy skills that are key to leadership. When a leader is not empathetic, they are rubbing their employees the wrong way. They are saying things and implementing policies that are really harsh or really disruptive in other people's lives. But when you have empathy, you're thinking about other people's perspectives, even though you you know the supervisor may not have kids, right, but setting policies in place for people who when they have kids and helping support them is, you know, something that's empathetic, something that is putting yourself in someone else's shoes, thinking about, you know, what's going to make that employee productive and loyal to your company, and to make sure that they are flourishing in their Life, and not just a worker. So again, Animal Rescue centers thinking about how you can leverage their love for animals already, and think about, you know, what are some things that are happening in the community when it comes to animals and rescue shelters, and how that is something that could be a part of their studies, their major in school, and their career. So number four nursing homes, this is this could be really low hanging fruit as well. It could be something very simple, because a family member could already be in a rehab center or a nursing home, and your child could come and volunteer. Now, they do a lot. When I'm saying the nursing home staff try to create a community and activities for them. There are a lot of them are at the end of their lives, or they have a really bad health setback, and they're younger, and they have to be in this nursing home or rehab center so you. So thinking in terms of the nursing home, what kind of activities can your child do? Do they play music? They can play music for the for the residents. They could also sing for the residents. Perform other ways they could do magician shows, you know, display a variety of skills so that they can be a form of entertainment for the residents of the nursing home or rehab center. In addition to that, when, when I'm saying rehab center, let me take a step back. I am talking about physical rehab. Um, every center is different. I wasn't talking about drug recovery. Um, that may or may not be something that you want to do or be part of your child's life already. So that's what you need to take in consideration. Back when I heard myself, you know, saying what I'm saying, then you may think I'm talking about one thing, but I really was, in my mind, thinking about the physical therapy or something like that. So beware. Okay, so the next thing with the the kids, the teenagers, get played games with the residents, right? And they also could just listen to them, these older people have wonderful lives that they've lived, and of course, they're in another stage of their life. And just to hear about when they were teenagers, or how much technology has changed, think about how the world is different from when they were a teenager until how these children are teenagers, and dealing with this, it would mean a lot for them to hear what those struggles were and what those journeys were, and to hear any advice they had to give. Obviously, they have perspectives, and they've lived life and been through some things that your child may be going through now, or maybe even go through the future, and kind of like a forewarning of what they should be aware of, don't get involved in just to honor older adults, by giving back, by spending time with them, by listening in. And different people have family structures where maybe the family doesn't live nearby them, or they're estranged from their family, and just to listen to what's going on and what their thoughts are and what wisdom they have to impart is going to go a long way with helping develop your child's empathy skills, and later on, they could be a leader, and they can think about How to Treat people that are older in an honorable way, in a respectful way, and in turn, treat people who are younger than them in a more respectful and honorable way. It really is about going full circle with leadership, being a great citizen and continuing to give back. Right? We know that kids, of course, are born into the world, and we give and give and give to them, but as they get older, they need to make that transition to being a person who gives and contributes to a society, to a group, to a family, and this happens through volunteerism and the habit and the habits of mind it that it brings when they do this volunteer time. So number three, environmental cleanup. So obviously we have, you know, people, a lot of people, talk about climate, crime, crisis, again, that's not either here or there or there. When it comes to this, we just need to know, like there is pollution in the ocean. That's irrefutable. There's pollution. And I live in the Los Angeles area. So we have the LA River, and we have a organization that try to revitalize and help the Los Angeles River. And of course, your child can help with the flowers, the flora and the animals that live in that habitat or trying to repopulate that habitat, in the bio diversity in that area, right? So it is, it would be a great service to the community. If your child volunteers for these environmental cleanup events now, they may have to get dirty, and this is why I made it number. All over the United States, 75% of children don't know how to write well. Add that to the fact that so many people out there are trying to silence the voice. Voices of those who have been oppressed and trying to prevent them from telling their story. Who's going to tell your story if your child doesn't know how to write? Well, I have two books to address this issue, the rewrite method and the rewrite method workbook written to make sure that parents know what to do, that educators know what to do to get their children to write better and just not write better, but love to write, make sure that your next generation could tell their story and they won't be silenced. Go to fallingfor learning.com today to purchase your set number three, because they may have to get dirty. They might, you know, they're getting out of their comfort zone. And you know that's what empathy is about. You're comfortable understanding your point of view and what things are like for you, and empathy you are getting out of what your normal is, and thinking about what other people, other animals, other living beings have to go through. And you're contributing now. You're someone who's going to be a help, instead of someone who may be the one getting helped and getting cared for. You're doing the caring for and the one that's helping. So empathy and volunteerism go hand in hand. And environmental cleanup happens a lot during, you know, Earth Day. It happens, you know, keeping up getting on the mailing list of these different organizations. It's going to help make sure that you know where to go to get support, to give support, in this case, right, and knowing when these events happen, getting your child on a regular basis of volunteering. Now what I didn't talk about is, of course, this is part of school curriculum, or school requirements for graduation, is to volunteer. But you know, they may say you need 10 hours. I don't, you know, I know it's like minimal, right? But getting your child into doing this on a regular basis can mean so much if lots of us get our kids to do this when they're teenagers, then we're going to have a better world overall, because they're going to be thinking about others. They're going to be putting themselves in other people's shoes, even if they don't have experiences that the people that they're helping have they now? Have seen it firsthand, have talked to people, have worked with them, and it'll help them to make policies that are more beneficial for the whole, for the majority, and not just a few people. They're going to be our voters. They're going to be our legislators in the in the tomorrow, right in the years to come, and we are nurturing those habits of mind, those just really self reflection and and and seeing other people in a respectful way, and not just being in your silo of experience, but just thinking outside of what is just you, so that we could think about how we could benefit everyone. So environmental cleanup, clean up those rivers, clean up those oceans. And of course, wherever you are living, there is a area in the environment that can be cleaned up and that people should be cleaning up. Maybe, maybe you and your child spearhead the cleanup of an area, or, you know, try to partner with a university or something like that that cleans up an area. But a lot of environmental work is going is done at the local level, and most likely, you could just go and be a part of a cleanup event instead of trying to initiate one. But you never know. The number two way to get your child involved in volunteerism and help them to become more empathetic is being a mentor to younger children. Now I put this as number two because when you're a mentor, that's not a one time thing. The other things that we talked about could be a one time thing, here or there, but this requires a commitment. You you're going to join the Big Brother Big Sister organization, or if you're going to join some kind of mentor ship relationship at your school or with a partner school going they teenagers sometimes go to elementaries and read to kids or do different things with kids. Being a mentor is a long term relationship. It's not a one time thing. I read to you on last month. Um. And you know, I'll see you next year. No, it's something that you talk to them regularly or communicate, right? You might text them or call them, do events with them, work with them, help them where they need help. It could be tutoring. It could be giving them advice. So being mentoring other children. Also could happen at the school level, for example, if someone is in sixth grade, for example, those eighth graders have been through the journey right of sixth grade and seventh grade, and now they're in eighth grade, they can help a sixth grader to navigate the different ins and outs of middle school, which usually is a lot bigger setting than the elementary school that they came from, and it's a lot more independent. They are going to class by themselves. They are opening lockers by themselves, and I have seen sixth graders give up on lockers. You know some schools have lockers and don't use them, but if your school has lockers and they use them, I've seen lots of kids stop using the lockers or not go through that and again as a teacher, but I'm being pulled in many different directions during the breaks and the passing periods kids need to talk to me about something. Sometimes the office calls. There may be some last minute prep work I have to do. I am not able to walk around and help with lockers all the time, but another kid can do that and be a mentor to help lockers, to help with advice about friendship, thinking about how to study, thinking about how to balance their athletic responsibilities and their academic responsibilities so student athletes could be there to mentor. There's lots of ways and reasons to mentor others and why they would be a perfect fit for this, but it is a commitment, I would say, no less than a year, right for the school year, you are mentoring this child. And here are some activities that you could do. You guys could come up with ideas together, work on projects that the kid wants to do or wants to get better at. And it would be a great thing. It would be a great thing for your child to mentor a younger student, and the number one way to get your child involved with volunteerism and empathy is going to be a youth advocacy group. Now we've had in the past, the director of the Social Justice Learning Institute, and he was telling us how they involve themselves in youth Research Action. So the children that middle schoolers, the high schoolers, identified a problem on their campus that they wanted to change, and they organized a campaign and got it changed. They had the school police that were really intimidating the kids helping to reinforce that school to prison pipeline. They were able to get monies diverted from the Los Angeles Unified School District Police and moved into programs. For example, the Black Student Achievement Plan and had programs and mentors and different vendors come on the campus to help them to work on their leadership skills, on their academics, help them make a plan for their future, and so that was so valuable that they were able to put their education action. A lot of times, kids are bored in school or unhappy in school because they're doing assignment and things that they don't see any connection between their life and what they're learning in school, and this is one way youth advocacy group where you're using your reading, your writing, you're listening, you're speaking skills, you're using that to create a social media campaign. You're creating some kind of campaign where you're communicating with others, holding meetings, doing surveys to find out information, so you can find out the problem, how to solve a problem in the community. So this involves a lot, so this why I made it the number one thing, and it's the highest form, right? This is putting the work into real world application. So you're writing a speech, you are making an ad, you are doing all these things to make sure that you have change in your community. And that is something that is so valuable. Of course, those people are have the skills to start grassroot campaigns to you. Be leaders in so many different arenas when they have that type of experience. And so that is a way to get your child volunteering and involved in something that they love and that they care about. So again, it is so important, important to strengthen those empathy skills, the ability to put yourself on someone else's shoes, to understand what other people are feeling, to help when those other people don't have help, understand why they need help, and give them that kind of help that they want and deserve. And we talked about the seven ways to do that, of course number seven, peer support. So just you know, volunteering to help students that have special needs or have disabilities at the school, eating lunch with them once a week or something like that, is very helpful. Volunteering at a food bank is number six, number five. Animal Rescue Center, so making sure you take time to help animals that are you know, needing to be rescued. They were abandoned. They did not have help. They were maybe even been harmed by others. Nursing Home is number four, you know, using your talents to create an entertainment night for the nursing home residents. Also, you can play games with them. You can even just spend time and listen do some cleaning up for them, but listening to them about their stories. And you know, really getting your time, your child, your teen time to soak up that information, that that wisdom that they have to give, number three, environmental cleanup, getting involved in those events on Earth Day, getting involved in those events in your community, cleaning up the oceans, cleaning up the rivers in your area. And there's many other opportunities. And again, we will connect you with the blog that has all the information in the show notes. Then there's a mentor, mentoring younger children. Number two, so making sure that you your child is establishing a relationship with a younger child and helping them navigate, you know, middle school. They're eighth grade now they're helping them navigate Middle School. They are maybe the fifth graders helping them navigate elementary school. So really helping to establish relationship, and they're using their expertise. We don't really think about our kids, our teens, as experts in areas, but if they've made it through middle school, they've made it through high school, and they made it through elementary school, they have some experience that they can impart to people, kids that are younger than them, and they could mentor them and help them. Youth Advocacy advocacy group. Joining a youth advocacy group is our number one way to involve our child with our teens and our preteens with volunteerism. This is where they are thinking about a problem in the community and really trying to solve it, coming up with solutions, designing a campaign to raise awareness. So again, this is the highest level of volunteerism, and it is something that really transforms the community. When they find it a they find some type of issue, and really go in on how to solve it for the community. And of course, directly leads to them becoming leaders and having the skills to be legislators, to run campaigns when they're older. And it is, you know, so empowering, right? It makes what they learn applicable to their real lives, and that's a lot of times a missing ingredient for our children. So if you got value from this, please stop and before you you know, click off here. Make sure you subscribe and you like thank you for joining us. Let us know what kind of volunteerism you got your child in, and we love to hear from you and have a wonderful week. Thanks again for supporting the falling for learning podcast. New episodes go live every Saturday at 5pm you can watch us on youtube.com, at falling for learning, or listen on all major podcast platforms such as Apple, Google, Audible, Spotify and much more. Bye. For more resources, visit falling in love with learning.com we really appreciate you. Have a wonderful week. You.